Deep peace of the quiet earth to you. 

November 20, 2019

Sometimes all we need is for someone to give us permission to make a change--if it's the right decision, it doesn't matter who. Your mother, a stranger, your sister, your horoscope--sometimes we just need the burden of decision fatigue lifted in order to see straight, in order to see that we were drifting in a new direction all along.
 

October 4, 2019

And yet, here you are. Despite (or, perhaps, because of) your plans, you're standing where you never thought you would. Whether that moment is now or past, we've all had it--the 'how on earth did I get here?' moment, the 'this isn't where I'm supposed to be' moment. We think there's something wrong with us, but what that's only our perception? What if the only  thing 'wrong' is that we're so all-fired attached to some goal, some assumption we've created.

I always think of that moment in Reality Bites when Winona Ryder's character says, "I was really going to be something by the age of 23." And Ethan Hawke, in all his Gen X wisdom, replies, "Honey, the only thing you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself." That first bit? It always stuck with me--and I think it has to this day. I was really going to be something by now. Really. And somehow, over the years, I've conveniently forgotten the reply, the counter, the wisdom--amazing really, since I had such an all-out crush on Troy Dyer...

October 2, 2019

It's so tempting, isn't it? To just set down your heart and walk away? It's so heavy these days, so full, so cumbersome to haul around and still hold a normal conversation, a normal workday, a normal interaction with those you love. It's so easy to wish for a light and airy rib cage, one that will let you dance the way you used to, breathe the way you used to. There's a longing to once again be mothered, fathered.

But perhaps that's why the heart is suddenly so dense--it is pulling us to earth, gathering us in, returning us to the mother, to the father. It is a cosmic hushing, a warm compress to the forehead, a tucking in of blankets, a pulling of shades, and a whispered hush to rest now. The illness will pass, but we need to gather strength to see it through. 

September 11, 2019

I've written before about how we're allowed to ask for help or to seek expertise when necessary, and that to do so is not overreacting or asking too much. I was thinking about this yesterday at the dentist's office, during an appointment to adjust a retainer-type thing I wear at night. I wanted it fixed, obviously, but I was keenly aware that all the micro-adjustments, the fittings and re-fittings, were taking up so much time. That *I* was taking up so much time. 

I felt like the princess and the pea--a story I related to enormously as a kid and still do--as a dear friend and teacher pointed out, we can't help our sensitivity, and we can't cast the label "burden" on ourselves for asking for what we need. 

And besides, I wasn't getting that vibe from my dentist--it was entirely internal. He wanted the darn thing to fit as much as I did, and that's his (chosen) profession. It was funny, though, as if reading my mind, he said, "It's a bit like the princess and the pea, isn't it?" And I...

July 1, 2019

The feeling of being celebrated for you your wit, your intelligence, your beauty, your strength after a a lifetime of uncertainty, insecurity, and discomfort, well. It's a new thing, isn't it? And it's so easy to think that that feeling of worth can only be garnered through external praise. 

But as we soon find out, the drive for praise and acknowledgement can be an exhausting slog, unending in its necessary preparation, whether that's endless study, endless dieting, endless exercise, endless practice. Because there will always, always be someone smarter, someone thinner, someone stronger, someone wittier. 

There are many rooms, and you cannot be the best in all of them. But you are the same marvelous creature, no matter how many people are in attendance, and here's the thing--you always have been. So when you find praise, take it as a reestablishment of what you already knew, but had somehow forgotten--you are divine and original, keenly intelligent and absolutely lovely in your li...

February 19, 2019

Sometimes all we need is for someone to give us permission to make a change--if it's the right decision, it doesn't matter who. Your mother, a stranger, your sister, your horoscope--sometimes we just need the burden of decision fatigue lifted in order to see straight, in order to see that we were drifting in a new direction all along. 

February 15, 2019

Petals, we are like prisms--we can take something relatively straightforward and bend and refract it into something marvelous and extraordinary. We cannot ever forget this. It is this gift, this miraculous quality to create through adaptation, that allows us to see our way over, around, or through any situation. There is always an answer--even if it takes years of tinkering before we stumble upon it. 

But the years don't matter--our faith in our own ingenuity and the willingness to keep trying are what does. 

February 5, 2019

Never apologize for what you love, for what you return to time and time again, for your patterns, the habits that make you feel safe. Take all the comfort you need in this world and, when that habit, when that pattern stops serving you? Then you'll release it. You'll have help. The universe moves in its own time, but always, I have to believe, for our highest good. 

All we need is enough trust to get out of our own way in the meantime.

November 20, 2018

So often are we caught in the whirlwind of our own orbit that we have no idea the impact we have on those spinning alongside us. Petals, we are so loved. We are being willed to succeed, to be happy, to be complete, and we've forgotten for so long that we've ceased to believe it. We've ceased believing in support, relying all too heavily on our own dwindling resources. 

Well, I admit it--most days I don't believe it either. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, that there isn't a benign force constructed out of our own and others' goodwill, peppered with a hefty dose of loving kindness from the unseen. If there were ever a time of year to remember, to humor old beliefs in hopes they'll garner new ones, this is it.

I, for one, am tired of entertaining that draining house guest, Worst Case Scenario, within these walls. 

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