Deep peace of the quiet earth to you. 

September 30, 2019

I already know how little I need to be happy, to be peaceful (in fact, less equals more room for peace). But it's so easy to focus on material stuff, because it's there. You can hold it, donate it, reform it, recycle it.

But what about the other stuff? The preconceptions, the judgments, the expectations, the anxieties, the uncertainties? We don't have to expect the worst, but we so often do (I so often do), because that's the default, just like it's the default to buy a bigger/better house/car/wardrobe with a step up in income.

But there's no rule telling us we *have* to define our lifestyle by a generous paycheck. Nor do we have to let our fears and cynicism ruin the simple structure of our days.

I don't know how many times I've told myself that I was just going to start asking for what I want/need, and not say yes (or no) when I didn't want to, not make promises I couldn't keep, or redefine the truth to make myself fit in.

Well, now I'm not only telling myself, I'm telling those...

July 29, 2019

I know it feels slow. I know it and I know it and I know it. I also know we're doing our best, and that it never feels like enough. But I'm telling you this--living the change, actively and mindfully waking up every day and spending that day being authentically you, actively working and creating and living the world you want to see is the fiercest, most revolutionary act you can perform. Yes, sometimes we need to show up, voices carrying and colors flying, but that's only part of our authentic revolution--a part, but not the whole. 

So go on in this day. Do your thing, quiet or not, but do it as you. Do it with all the romance and optimism in your heart, and let no one take that from you. Because once they have that, they have everything.

June 20, 2019

I don't know if we're ever truly ready to stop hiding. It's like those mornings when you say aloud, "Get up, Amy," over and over because nothing else is going to spring you from bed. 

Coming out of hiding necessitates the same impulse, the same self-talk (though not self-discipline--I think that harsh taskmaster and I have parted ways for good...talk about an unequal relationship...). 

Don't get me wrong--being seen is, can be, terrifying. But if we all chose to be seen, to be transparent, where's the fear? And how distributed the power?

Last night I dreamt that I was walking through some foreign city, naked, and neither the nakedness nor the foreignness bothered me.

So. There's that.

July 5, 2018

There are many, many things of which we could speak on any given day. Granted, some, though unpleasant, are necessary to our work, our relationships, etc. But I'm not talking about those items. I'm talking about the extraneous, the conversational, the dialogues we carry on with each other, with ourselves.

These are of the 'is it kind/necessary/true' variety, and though I've more or less trained myself to go through that criteria before I speak, I admit quite readily (and quite guiltily) that I too often disregard the 'necessary' bit and, at times, even the 'kind' business. 

Yes, I try always to speak the truth, but without kindness? Without necessity? How much does that add to the conversation?

December 15, 2017

Minimalism is quite the buzzword in our holistic circles, and with good reason--we do tend to collect a lot of stuff, and sooner or later that stuff begins to own us. But there's something about that word that bothers me. And yes, I know I read personalities into words that are (probably) not there, but minimalism always seems like such a haughty concept, the just-as-caustic flipside of besting your neighbor's television/gadget/luxury automobile. It feels forced, enforced. A competition.

And though I suppose I fall into the minimalist camp, I much prefer the term simplicity. There's something so much kinder in the concept--do I love this thing? Do I use it? Yes? Simple--it stays until it's no longer loved or useful, then it's conscientiously, sustainably given away or recycled. I've said before that I didn't come with a sentimental gene, so that helps with the love it/useful tagging process. But here's the thing--does anyone really need 20 random mugs? Have you ever had 20 people over f...

October 11, 2017

I try to be transparent in all my interactions, and if I can't be comfortably so, I keep quiet. Part of this is an attempt toward fulfilling a personal philosophy, but the other is more pragmatic--I'm a terrible liar. Or, rather, I've discovered I'm a terrible concealer.

So, really, it's just easier to, with discretion, put it all out there. But what's so easy, so unbelievably easy, is hiding things from ourselves. There are so many places, when you really get down to it, to hide--and what with a lifetime of experience, we're bloody good at it. 

I think, though, if we could only stand to stare into a mirror, right into our own eyes, in good light, a few minutes a day, we'd hide so much less. Would we sleep more? Less? Would we feel fragile for a few days, a week, a year? Sure. But what's wrong with that? Think of what comes after--the quiet, the light, no more running down strange alleys, ducking into shadowy corners, just to get away from ourselves.

June 20, 2017

I have come to the realization that I have no gift for this spontaneous verbal communication thing. Right? I mean, with words and pages, you have time between the brain part and the speaking part. You can delete, rethink, re-word, and if none of it works, you have the miraculous pencil eraser or control-Z function. If you're very lucky, you have a reader and an editor to make sure that what you think is how you're read. 

It's a lovely, lovely thing. Elegant, meaningful, and as true as possible. 

So, speeches and presentations are okay, but the conversing part eludes me, as if there's a spark plug missing, and either I sound nothing like myself, or I fumble with a language I've eaten and drank, slept with and walked with my entire life. 

Or, to offer another analogy, it's like running a marathon in high heels--doable, I suppose, but terribly awkward and regrettable afterward.

And I know there are those of us for whom the opposite is true--the spoken is a gift and an art, a ta...

April 27, 2017

I spend a lot of time alone, a lot of time in silence. I prefer it. But once in awhile, in the space of that silence, I like to check in with myself, see what my brain is, exactly, doing with all that unstructured time. 

Usually the answer is reassuring. 

Sometimes, however, a body needs a pep talk

(or a stern talking-to). 

March 27, 2017

I already know how little I need to be happy, to be peaceful (in fact, less equals more room for peace). But it's so easy to focus on material stuff, because it's there. You can hold it, donate it, reform it, recycle it. 

But what about the other stuff? The preconceptions, the judgements, the expectations, the anxieties, the uncertainties? We don't have to expect the worst, but we so often do (I so often do), because that's the default, just like it's the default to buy a bigger/better house/car/wardrobe with a step up in income. 

But there's no rule telling us we *have* to define our lifestyle by a generous paycheck. Nor do we have to let our fears and cynicisms ruin the simple structure of our days. 

I don't know how many times I've told myself that I was just going to start asking for what I want/need, and not say yes (or no) when I didn't want to, not make promises I couldn't keep, or redefine the truth to make myself fit in. 

Well, now I'm not only telling myself, I'm tellin...

February 2, 2017

You know, I just keep thinking, the only thing that matters, once I climb into bed at the end of my day, is to be able to look back and assure myself that, yes, I did good work today. 

And, more importantly, that yes, I was absolutely true to myself, and that everything I did contributed to *true, honest, transparent* self-likability. 

It's harder than we think.

And more vital for health than we know. 

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