For me, the battle against anxiety and depression, tension and resistance had ruled my life for years.
But then I realized I was thinking of it the wrong way. Why is it a battle? Why was I focusing on that battle? What if I focused on everything around that battle? What if I quieted that struggle by heightening the peace that inevitably came between each dissonant sound?
And it works. It works. But, here's what happens: usually, we have moments of absolute clarity and feel as though we’ve conquered our demons, but then, right around days 3-5 (ish), they come roaring back, fiercer than ever.
This is tension. This is resistance. This is what happens when we resist the moment we’re in. We get anxious. We feel as though there’s a rift between where we are and where we want to be.
One of the first tools at our disposal is relaxation. I know—it’s hard; it takes time to learn to relax.
The key—NOT JUDGING yourself for how you feel. As soon as the tension creeps in, move your attention to your heart. Put your hands over it if you need help focusing, and think of something that brings your joy. See it, feel it. Write it down if it helps.
How does your body feel? This is relaxation. This is allowing. Now, stay in the moment and allow. How does the moment change?
If resistance keeps coming, don’t worry. It stops. Just let it happen. Whatever is going on, just let it run its course—like the flu. You just have to sweat out the mental fever, just as you would in your body. Feel, feel, feel. Don’t name, label, or distress. Just feel. Acknowledge. Move on. Everything passes.
So think tension and relaxation. Tension is when we resist, relaxation is who we are when we’re allowing. Allow! That’s your theme for this week. Just allow. Trust me—it will be a relief to let go. Feeling, rather than thinking, is going to be key here. Notice how your body feels. Take time. Lie down. Observe.
There are no limits on what makes you happy. If you see something that moves you, bookmark it, cut it out, photograph it, record it. Just do something so that, in moments of tension, you can come back to it. This is your oasis. In the words of Eckhart Tolle, “Whatever you fight, You strengthen, And what you resist, Persists.” So when you feel resistance, pull out the bliss visuals. Relax into them. This is how you find peace. It might be a tool you need to carry around with you for a while. Just do what you need to do. No rules. No judgment.
Be well & be relaxation itself this week!