Deep peace of the quiet earth to you. 

The messy and the beautiful in all its transience.

May 23, 2016

 

I don't know about you, but I made the decision to give up 'perfect' a long time ago. And, again, I don't know about you, but I've realized, over time, that that's a big ol' fat lie right there. I mean, I've given up someone's idea of perfect (I don't own heels, makeup, hair products, or a hair dryer, and I might own one dress), but that was never my idea of perfection. 

 

So, what did I really give up? 

 

Absolutely nothing. That's like giving up eating something everyone else loves but I find sort of, you know, meh (like sugar, like flour, but that's another post...). That's not sacrifice, and it's not all that brave. 

 

So. Perfection. Hell yes I have an idea of what me-as-perfect is and I do not live up to it at all--which is not a surprise because perfect is impossible. But I try and I berate myself every day for not finding perfection. So, let's see. The non-perfect: I'm still in debt to college and to life and that's not going to change (minus a minor miracle) any time soon. I'm dependent on others more than I'm comfortable with. I still get terrible, gut-wrenching (quite literally) anxiety, no matter what the tools in my toolbox. I'm more judgmental that I'd like to admit. I believe others too readily and disbelieve myself just as readily. I'm more negative than I think, and I'm lazier than I'd like to be. 

 

But what if I could just accept all of that at face value? And say, well, hey. That's my perfect. That's my poor animal self in all her evolution and enlightenment in this moment. I'll never be more perfect or more imperfect than I am in this moment. Because in this moment, I AM. That's it. I. AM. 

 

What if we could throw away 'flawed,' throw away 'imperfection,' and just love what was left? 


What if it really were that simple?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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