Perfect, quite frankly, is boring. If perfect were the norm, I'd be out of a job--no yoga to teach, no bodies to massage, to herbs to discuss, no energy to align.
And while, yes, my livelihood (and that of my fellow body/energy workers out there) is important to me, it's of little interest to you. Not in the greater scheme of this whole holistic wholeness business, anyway.
So here's the thing: you are insanely amazing--all of your crests and troughs, mistakes and triumphs--all of that stuff is your topography, and topography is infinitely interesting, infinitely discoverable. We are always in the process of learning, of moving, of making connections, of cutting cords. That's how we progress through life--from connection to connection.
So, if you're shoving yourself into a mold that doesn't fit--a job, a suit, a pair of shoes, a circle of friends, a habit, a hobby, a dietary life choice--then stop. Reevaluate and ask for whom you're making this choice. For you? For reals? For honest? Then okay. Continue--even if it's hard.
But for a relationship (and not in a good way)? Or for some authority figure? Then slowly drop what doesn't work. Trust me--you'll get tired of carrying that stuff, wearing out your poor body and soul, hauling around that personality suit that never has (and never will) quite fit.
Who is your best self? Your favorite self? Who is beneath those years of trying to fit in or go unnoticed? When you pare down you find lightness, ease, and the ability to slip into flow as if you were born to do it (because, well, you were).