Deep peace of the quiet earth to you. 

Anything remotely related to "should."

September 27, 2016

 

I am such a huge offender on this issue--not that my life *should* be a certain way (I gave up hope of control in that area ages ago), but that I should be doing something, anything, in any given moment--that I already ask for too much and, if I take a moment to regroup, to breathe, to rest, I'll be taking even more. The world (and the people in my world) have already been so generous, so gracious with me, that I'm afraid I'll be seen as one who takes advantage. 

 

Do we all do this? I think we do. We must be seen to be busy, thought of as busy. And not just busy. No, we must be productive. Producing. Well, I guess the word doesn't even matter anymore. We need to prove our worth, our existence--at least that's how most of us feel. Indebted. 

 

And, man, indebted is a rough place to be--it breeds, alternatively, honest gratitude and uncontrollable resentment. You're being taken care of, yes, but you've lost the control (or feel as though you have) of the *taking care* bit. The active has become passive; after all, there's very little strength in passivity, very little control. 

 

Enter the ceaseless, senseless activity.

 

So...yeah. I don't have an answer to this one--not a satisfactory one, anyway. Sometimes I just like to shine the spotlight into the audience, see how many hands are raised when I say, "who's with me?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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