So here's the thing--at least, here's my thing--I feel as though I have to be involved in every aspect of my own pursuit, not of happiness (because what does that really mean? what qualifies?), but of contentment, of ease.
But do you see the irony of that impulse? Ease, by definition is, well, easy. Loosely structured. A wise teacher once said to me, 'Just leave it all alone; the less you interfere, the less energy you expend.' So I'm trying to stop the constant monitoring, the constant anticipation, the worrying that I'm not doing enough, or that it doesn't *look* like I'm doing enough.
Because it's exhausting, isn't it? You know. We know. We're all in this pursuit of contentment, of easy peace and simple grace together. But I think those words we've chosen are the key--easy, simple, peace, grace. Those aren't qualities we chase, but qualities we allow. And it's pretty dang hard to allow anything in when you're armed to the teeth, pacing the gate.
So let's let it go this week--we don't have to try, we just have to decide. Let's just take a deep breath, let our shoulders (and our defences) drop and just see what we can allow in.
And you know? Just writing that--I feel more awake already.