I still (still!) find myself apologizing for a sundry of habits, schedule preferences, words coming (or not) out of my mouth. Essentially, I suppose, I'm apologizing for taking up space and air and resources when, surely, there's someone far more efficient/creative/quick/fun/relaxed who's worthy of it.
How did we get like this? Because my guess is that there are more of us who feel this way than not. The ones who don't? They intimidate the ever-living heck out of me. They're just so graceful, so at ease, so effortlessly put together--and even if they aren't, that's the atmosphere they create, the air they move through. It's like they're their own weather system, and as it pushes up against the uptight and worried front the rest of us harbor, storms brew.
But you know what's just occurred to me? I fight those fronts when I feel them because they're frightening. I mean, what would happen if I let that weather system blow my own away? I don't know. I don't think I've ever allowed such a breach in my own defenses.
Well. There's a thought. Let's just see how the wind blows today.