If you're like me (And I assume, at least in part, you are--otherwise, why read? Unless, of course, you're just here to be entertained by my neurotic struggles, and in that case, I completely understand. You may continue.), then you apologize way too much. Perhaps not out loud, but certainly in your head.
I yearn to be so under the radar that I avoid drawing any kind of attention to myself. Perhaps because I assume it's as uncomfortable for the person I'm querying as it is for me? I always imagine that I'm putting someone at an inconvenience. Right? Do we all feel this way? I wonder when and where we learned that we had no right to our own time, to our own questions, to our own misgivings and fears and need for reassurance. I wonder, too, if we'll ever get over it. I wonder if we'll ever, ever find strength and courage enough to stand up and just say, 'hang on a second--I'm really frightened here and I need some answers. I have a right to my own peace of mind.'
Because we DO have a right to peace of mind. We DO have a right to have space and time made for us. We DO NOT need to apologize for taking up the same air as someone we--distortedly--see as more worthy of it. It breaks my heart, really, in those moments I'm lucid enough to be the witness, to observe this small, scared creature shrink away from even the remotest touch.