Our inclination to expect the best or the worst is, perhaps, something we're born with--an internal meter of sorts. But I think, in large part, it's a learned response. Or a combination of the two. I don't know--at any rate, that's not important--we have lots of qualities with which we're born that we later have to learn to manage or overcome.
No, this is about, at its core, how we learn to trust, if we learned to trust, and how that trust is lost. Once lost, optimism and faith take off with it. Most of us know this from experience, but here's what I've learned--and maybe this is because I seem to have walked through my most recent trial by fire, and though still a bit singed, I seem to be healing (See all those qualifiers, btw? Trust is slow to return.).
What I've learned is that, when everything seems to be falling down about our ears, that small spark of faith/trust/optimism will grasp at anything--a seamless commute to work, a full gas tank, a stack of books at the library. Things that seem mundane in a 'normal' day take on epic, glowing, beautifully bright proportions. So go with it. Find relief when something is easy, and don't judge yourself for that. Or, worse, don't compare it to what *isn't* easy at the moment. Because it's so true that we are what we focus on. And it's tiring--for you, for your world--to focus, to talk, to stew, to sigh about what is so exquisitely difficult.
Love, for now, what is easy.