Self-love is the hardest thing on earth, truly. We are so ugly to ourselves over so-called flaws that, while no doubt glaringly hideous to us, go unnoticed by absolutely everyone else. And the thing is--we know that. We know that, and we both don't believe it and can't help ourselves, even if we could believe.
So what's the answer? I have no idea. I have no idea, except to turn the critic on her ear and offer *her* compassion. Because, honestly, that shrill, judgmental voice is simply an angry, frustrated little soul with no other way of expressing her grief. Throw love at her. Let her vent, but throw love. Have both, for now, and eventually (I think), find love.