I'm not sure why I bother to try to understand why people do what they do. Perhaps if it were merely an idle curiosity in humanity, it might be a harmless hobby. But I think, for most of us, we try to ferret out motivations because we feel we can *do* something--stop them or help them, I suppose.
But the truth is, we can't, not even when they ask for help, at least not always. And then trying to solve every problem, avoid every conflict becomes exhausting and anxiety-provoking.
Instead, for the most part, I'm willing to live and let live (barring, of course, standing up against blatant hatred, bigotry, racism, bullying, etc. But that's a different post. We're talking garden-variety, non-hate bearing individuals here), and continue pottering around in my garden, understanding, at least in part, the very uncomplicated language of flowers.