I say all of this about not wishing for otherwise because I aspire for it to be true. My current truth is that I wish for otherwise all the time. I have this mad belief that if I don't, if I accept the less-than-ideal now, that it will always be this way. But of course, that's not only nutty, but untrue, impossible, and exhausting.
There *is* no alternative to this moment and the only way that will ever change is to rub the grit from our eyes, say yes and thank you, and build a future based on the next decision and the next. This is where we are, and this is how we will learn--finally, truly--what it feels like to be content.