For those of you who have been there, you'll know what I mean when I say that hunger can be addictive--the clean, sharpness of it can make you feel simultaneously light, strong, and invincible. But you pay a terrible price for it. Beneath that illusion of clean, honed lines is the anxiety of a person just trying to do the best she can in the only way she knows how, clinging onto control wherever she can.
The scariest thing in the world is the letting go. The unknown is scary, yes, but releasing one's grasp on strict self-control is scarier than that. Our hands are frozen and cramped from the clutching, and it's okay that it's going to take us some time, not only to release the grip, but to get some feeling back into our extremities.