Deep peace of the quiet earth to you. 

Begin.

July 12, 2019

 

I understand the impulse to eat the entire cake and begin again tomorrow. I get it and I've absolutely done it, from cake to cigarettes. But that beginning again tomorrow business has two fatal flaws: 1) the belief that you have done something necessitating beginning again (as opposed to just living your life with joy) and 2) the seductive darkness of the night before. Night can absolutely be peaceful and restful, but we're not talking about those nights. We're talking about the nights when it's just you and the darkness, your inner monologue, and your unrelenting guilt, shame, and sorrow. It's the nature of the brain, it's the nature of darkness. It closes in and throws wide the door to our demons. 

 

Then there's this idea of having to start over, as if you've done something wrong in the first place. You haven't. But night and guilt and history and shame and media can trick us--can allow us to trick ourselves--into believing there's no other choice but starting over. Again.

 

Hear this: you do not need to start over. You do not need to begin again. You need only to continue. You need only to take a deep breath and love yourself--not in spite of, but because of. Then, sleep well. 

 

 

 

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