Deep peace of the quiet earth to you. 

The overthinking.

August 2, 2019

 

I have a few superpowers. One is canceling plans (sorry). Another is overthinking. I have a strong feeling I'm not alone on the latter (and maybe not on the former, either... #introvertsunite). And while I'm not bothered by the first, I'm trying to wean myself off of the second. 

 

Because it *is* an addiction, isn't it? Overthinking? It becomes a way to procrastinate, a way to focus on ego (because anxiety is, at its heart and by its nature, the most egocentric of emotions), and a way to keep us stuck in our comfortably uncomfortable patterns. 

 

Despite evidence to the contrary, I'm always convinced that *this* time, my anxiety isn't playing me, that *this time* it's got my best interests at heart, that *this time* its warnings and alarm bells are harbingers of something real, that *this time* is the time to listen.

 

But when that's *every* time, you have to wonder. You have to wonder if you'll ever learn. But I suppose, just writing this *is* learning. Awareness *is* progress. Well, I'll take it. I'll take it and I'll breathe and I'll try and try to believe that this time is nothing. Just like all the others. 

 

 

 

 

 

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